Non-monetary rewards for kids by age

The short answer

Choose a non-monetary reward the child wants and the adult can provide, then agree on what earns it and when it can be used. The age groups below organize optional ideas about choices, privileges and experiences; they are not developmental rules or a requirement to use rewards.

Age is only a starting point. Interests, development, disability, family culture, and the privilege itself matter more than a birthday. A five-year-old may save patiently for a family outing, while a teenager may value choosing tonight's music more than extra screen time. Ask before assuming.

Non-monetary reward ideas by age

These are prompts, not prescriptions. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends involving children in selecting rewards that are meaningful to them and making the required points or time clear. A choice that feels exciting to one child can feel like another obligation to a sibling.

For ages 5-8: make the reward visible and close

One optional planning approach is to write down the action and reward together, using words or a picture your child understands. For example: "Put the agreed books on the shelf, then choose tonight's game." Ask whether that arrangement makes sense to this child; it is not a developmental rule for everyone aged 5-8.

As a planning check, explain the first job, its review and the available choice before starting. The linked CDC reward-chart guidance is for parents of toddlers and preschoolers aged 2-4; it does not establish what works for the ages 5-8 group used here.

Do not make ordinary love, comfort, meals, sleep, or a child's basic access to a parent conditional on chores. "Choose our Saturday activity" is a reward. "I will spend time with you only if you earn it" is not.

For ages 9-12: add ownership and anticipation

Ask whether this child wants a quick choice or would like to save toward something later. Offer options involving choice, friend time or a say in family plans, without assuming that everyone in this age band wants the same thing.

• Everyday autonomy: choose dinner, the family playlist, a weekend breakfast, or the order of Saturday plans.
• Friend privileges: invite a friend over, plan a games afternoon, or choose a shared activity.
• Special access: stay up later on an agreed night, choose the movie, use a special family space, or lead a kitchen project.
• One-on-one experiences: a bike ride, library trip, walk with a drink from home, craft session, or parent-child challenge.
• Family experiences: save together for a beach morning, hike, pizza-making night, or local adventure.

Let the child compare a small reward now with a larger reward later. That makes the trade-off real without turning it into a lecture. For pricing, set the larger option far enough away to require several decisions but close enough that ordinary effort can reach it. The Chore Buck value guide offers a simple reachability check.

For ages 13-17: reward trust, voice, and useful freedom

Start with a conversation about what would make the system worthwhile for this teen. The CDC's guidance for parents of teens recommends involving teenagers in decisions and setting expectations together.

• Time: a later weekend curfew within safe limits, extra time for a valued activity, or a quieter morning schedule.
• Social freedom: having a friend over, choosing a group activity, or planning an approved outing.
• Decision-making: choosing a family meal, route, movie, playlist, or part of the weekend plan.
• Skill and responsibility: practising an agreed skill with an adult, planning and cooking a meal, leading an outing, or managing a small family project.
• Experiences: one-on-one time around the teen's interests, an event, a day trip, or a shared goal chosen together.

Freedom-based rewards need boundaries before they are earned: which day, how long, transport, supervision, spending limit, device rules, and what happens if circumstances change. A reward can expand choice without overriding safety, school commitments, sleep needs, or another person's consent.

Use the five-part Reward Fit Test

Before adding a reward to the family store, check it against five questions:

1. Wanted: Did this child choose it, or are adults guessing?
2. Deliverable: Can the parent provide it on a normal week without creating resentment, cost, or scheduling chaos?
3. Reachable: Can steady effort earn it within a timeframe the child can understand?
4. Bounded: Are the duration, date, safety limits, and other conditions clear before redemption?
5. Healthy: Does it preserve basic care, affection, sleep, education, safety, and family belonging?

If a reward fails one question, adjust it rather than abandoning the system. "Unlimited screen time" can become "30 extra minutes on Friday after homework." "A day out" can become "Choose our free Saturday park." "No chores tomorrow" can become "Use one pass for an optional earning job," while ordinary personal and family responsibilities stay clear.

A fictional example: make “choose a game” deliverable

Arun, ten, wants to choose the family's Saturday game. The parent can offer a twenty-minute slot and two games they already own. They write this agreement before the optional earning jobs begin:

• The choice: Arun picks one of those two games for the Saturday slot. Everyone can join whether or not they have earned points.
• The earning path: each of three agreed optional jobs earns two family points after the parent checks the result. Six points buys the choice; three approvals at two points each reach that target. These invented values illustrate the arithmetic, not a recommended price or workload.
• The parent's commitment: keep the games and the Saturday slot available, and check finished jobs at the agreed time. Food, ordinary family time and care stay separate from the reward.
• A changed plan: if the parent must cancel Saturday, offer a new time Arun agrees to or leave the six points available for a different choice. Do not require the same work again.

This example turns a vague promise into a choice, a clear target and an adult commitment without buying anything. Use the reward reachability check with your own values, or explore the family reward store after agreeing on what your household can provide.

Match rewards to the parent's actual capacity

Before promising a reward, check the time and materials it requires. Include choices you can provide on an ordinary day as well as any occasional experiences you can arrange.

Keep at least one attractive option in the first two rows. A store filled only with major outings forces families either to wait too long or to promise more than they can deliver.

Protect trust once a reward is earned

Write the agreement before the work: what earns Bucks, who approves it, what the reward includes, and when it can be used. Once a reward has been earned, do not quietly raise its price or confiscate it as a later punishment. Within its guidance for toddlers and preschoolers, the CDC advises against removing a reward a child has already earned.

Use a calm weekly review to notice three signals:

• The reward is stale: the child no longer chooses it. Replace it together.
• The target is unrealistic: consistent effort barely moves progress. Reprice the reward or earning jobs.
• The routine is established: the child now completes it reliably. Reduce prompts or move rewards toward a new skill.

Rewards are one tool for teaching and reinforcing a routine, not a permanent price on every helpful action. Keep ordinary family contribution visible, and reserve extra earning for jobs or goals your family has agreed should earn more. See the guide to responsibilities versus paid chores for a clear family rule.

A ten-minute setup for tonight

1. Ask each child to name one small privilege, one shared activity, and one bigger experience they would enjoy.
2. Remove anything unsafe, unaffordable, or unrealistic to schedule.
3. Choose three options that pass the Reward Fit Test.
4. Set a reachable Chore Buck value for each option.
5. Agree on redemption boundaries before adding the reward.
6. Review the menu after one week and change only what is confusing or unwanted.

For a broader list sorted by choices, permissions, time together, and experiences, continue with the real-life chore reward ideas guide.

ChoreRally: Family Chore Chart

ChoreRally for iPhone and iPad includes parent-approved chore earnings and a family reward store for privileges and experiences. Eligible new subscribers get one month free, then US $4.99/month, renewing until canceled. Apple confirms your local price and eligibility before purchase. Child profiles included; adult access requires setup and verification. See pricing and access details.

Download on the App Store